Prerace Press Conference - Squinting in the Bright Lights

Having emerged from my self imposed training cave (the "TC") it was time to sit down and fulfill my prerace media obligations. After having spent the last 8 days in the TC the bright lights of the cameras from the assembled media throng (the "AMT") were a bit harsh, but I'm no longer seeing stars. The following is a mostly unedited transcript from the press conference.

AMT: When last we heard from you, you were trying to determine your goals for SA Rock n Roll 1/2. What have you been doing in the interim?

Me: I've spent a great deal of time in my training cave ("TC"). I've undergone complete body composition, VO2 Max, Anerobic Threshold, pinky strength and intestinal fortitude testing. The results have not been pretty. I've been deemed category FSAW - fat, slow and weak. FSAW is not something that can be overcome in 8 days. Although I have given it my best shot.

AMT: What about training?

Me: Well, during those 8 days I've started multiple runs. I even finished a couple of them. Thanks to NS Rob I just finished an 11 mile run in just under 2 hours. Not pretty.

AMT: Will it be enough to beat the lovely Angela?

Me: Thats a great question! No.

AMT: What is your plan for SA Rock n Roll?

Me: I'm going to go down to SA, walk the River Walk with my wife of excessive hotness, check out the Alamo, enjoy a ton of TexMex, have some cervesa on Friday evening and I suppose on Sunday morning I'll tie my shoes and run 13.1 miles (or some part thereof).

AMT: Specifically what's your plan for the race? What will you do about Angela?

Me: I'm going to go out in around 10/min miles and hopefully pick it up a bit in the second half of the half. Finish prediction anywhere from 2:05 to 2:15.

AMT: Is it true that you've been seen at your computer next to a pile of fun sized wrappers?

Me: That wasn't me unless you have photographic evidence and even then those weren't my wrappers. I mean that's my kids' candy - like I would eat that candy one sweet mini snickers bar after another followed by mini twix - damn why are these individually wrapped it really slows me down (although not enough).

At this point the Doc ripped the microphone out of my hands shouting "NO MORE Questions, can't you see he needs help."

Thanks again for the run today NS Rob. I think part of my deal is that I've been out there alone too much, I'm too tired. Couple that with FSAW and it's not good.

Rhetorical Question: Can I call it a taper if I had about 10 days of training, somehow threw in a couple of long runs - 9 and 11 miles and am now resting?